Hazy
On weather, regret, and a question I don't have the answer to yet
Ever seen snow in April? I can now say that I have. Being up in the mountains north of LA has really surprised me. The cold, the hail, the snow — all of it is so different than the weather I was used to these past few weeks. Instead of sunny spring California sun, I’ve gotten cold, rainy, winter-in-Washington type weather.
Being in a beautiful house with a cute pup is great, but with the less-than-ideal weather I wonder if I’m enjoying myself as much as I could or should be considering where I am and what I’m doing. Am I truly appreciating how great this house is, how perfect the dog is, how nice being tucked away in a cute mountain home is for work productivity and time with my partner?
It’s not just the place itself that shapes how you feel about being there. The weather can completely recolor the experience. And it’s not just here in LA that I’ve felt this. When I’m in Washington and waking up to another day where the sun is up for maybe eight hours, it makes me feel so uninspired for the day.
Looking back and seeing the same pattern emerge across locations clarifies what may be happening — Washington winters drag me down just like these couple cold and gloomy California days have. It makes me want to dive deeper into looking back to analyze if I really enjoyed a location to its fullest, even back to when I lived in cities for months and years at a time. Did I get all I could out of my college days in Alabama? Did I miss anything in Tampa at that first apartment? Did we get all we could out of our beach town housesit last fall? But then opening that can means being ok with the answer and potential regret of not actually living life to the fullest.
Choosing to live nomadically really satisfied my travel itch. It gave me a feeling of freedom so opposite of how stuck I felt before. But now as I look back at each house I’ve spent time at, I’m thinking about whether I tried hard enough to get out and really experience what the town had to offer. I don’t have an answer yet.