Bottomless

How a safety precaution became a tether I can't quite cut

The first time I jerry-rigged our Starlink into the sunroof of our Bronco Sport I thought I was a genius. And I mostly still do. But I never realized the longer-term impact of ensuring we’re always connected.

Starting at the beginning, we got the Starlink as a safety precaution. We were living in Las Vegas, venturing out in the desert for hours at a time where cell reception abandoned you as soon as you turned off the pavement. It was meant to be a way to make sure we could call for help and that people could see where we were without fully committing to a sat phone or emergency beacon or what have you. And it worked — we were able to update maps when plans changed and we kept our go-with-the-flow exploration style that we loved.

But that did mean that when we’re in the car for any drive longer than a few hours now, we turn the Starlink on. And that means that a lot of our road trip drives between housesits or for fun exploring day trips means I have a laptop on me. Perpetually. I never truly unplug and sit in the car with the expectation of just enjoying the drive. There’s always some kind of “car thought” or “just a quick work thing.” It never stops now.

And these things are never meant as huge time sucks, but a quick thought you want to jot down in enough detail to action upon means you’re opening the computer. And when the computer is open it’s so easy to check email, add more details to the action items in the Trello board, look up other new housesits that fit our schedule, and more. You get sucked into the digital landscape instead of focusing out the windows and enjoying the ever-changing scenery as you drive through truly beautiful places.

And it’s the little things I’m missing that get to me most. There have been more instances than I’d like to admit where my partner sees something while driving — something as noticeable as a cool rock formation to things as small as a plane of some sort that passes by. We’re moving so quickly that by the time I’m looking up it’s way gone. Those kinds of things are disappointing even though I’m not a plane enthusiast. Missing a shared moment that isn’t replicable — that’s what stings the most.

I have been trying to do better about disconnecting. I actually went on a short two-hour road trip without plugging the Starlink in the other day. It was good — I didn’t feel like I was missing anything by being unreachable. But that didn’t stop the “car thoughts” from happening. So, things are better, but I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to fully unplug until we’ve got our company built.